A Story of Hurt, Violence and Hope


The Beginning                                                 

I met him in the summer of 2011. He was my friend’s brother. He caught my attention right away with his handsome looks. We first hung out as a group with me, him and his sister. It’s safe to say that I fell for him fast and hard. On August 20th we became official and not too long after, I moved into his apartment with him. We were inseparable at the time and continued our daily activities as if we were a ‘married’ couple.

The Warning                                                    

I had heard about his ‘ways’. I personally saw God repeatedly intervene through others. My sister and her friend warned me that he had a temper but I believed in giving chances so I gave him one. My family even rallied and told me to leave, but it was still ‘new’ so I stayed.

The Experience

It started with anger. I would forget what I did but I never forgot the anger. He began by intimidating me verbally through foul language and name calling. But I stayed because I liked him and I felt like he needed me. I felt that I could help him. It rapidly and quickly escalated after my grandmother’s funeral. Three days after I said my final goodbyes to her he got upset at my menstrual symptoms and backhanded me. I was numb. At that point, I was ready to leave him but in my mind I didn’t have anywhere to go. I stayed. For 2 weeks he was sorry and treated me like fine China. We were good, real good at the time until I wouldn’t let him record me performing sexual acts. He made me get up while still naked and stand in the bathroom of his small apartment not allowing me to use the toilet, tub or sink and then he left. About 10 minutes later he came back and accused me of calling the cops/someone, but I didn’t have a phone. I told him this and he continued to accuse me until he threw his keys at my face, chipping my tooth and fattening my lip. Again, his forgiveness lasted for about 2 weeks.

In that time I left but my self-esteem was so low and he made me feel good so I went back. When I got back he seemed a little more agitated and scattered but I looked passed it. We were ‘good’ again, real good again. In no time at all our dysfunctional secret behavior at home began to spill over in the public and gave us the title as the ‘dysfunctional couple.’ We would argue loudly in the streets. One time, he woke me up to drive with him to a contract job hours away because he felt like I was at home cheating and he accused me of sleeping with his friends. The breaking point was when he threw out covers I slept under while still at home with my grandmother because he was upset. They stayed there for days. Afraid of what would happen if I tried to retrieve the blankets that held so much sentimental value to me, I asked him to get them from outside but he wouldn’t. My frustration and anger about the blankets began to build as the days went on so he in turn got upset.

The Final Straw

After days of anger between the two of us, he told me to get up and clean and left the room to take a call. I sat there. He came back into the room with his food and saw that I hadn’t moved. He then raised the bowl he was eating out of to throw at me. For a brief moment he reconsidered, then he reconsidered again. He hit me with the bowl so hard that it broke and lacerated my face in two places and my right wrist. He couldn’t believe it and neither could I. It was in that moment, I realized how bad things had gotten. It was as if God cleared the smoke from my eyes and I could finally see and think clearly.  He told me I was going to get killed if I stayed and I believed him. We went to the hospital and I got stitched up. I told the doctors I got into a fight knowing in my mind that I have never been in a fight in my life. It took ten days for my face lacerations to heal and seven for my wrist. As a last favor to him I stayed until I healed enough. Why? His family would have disowned him if they saw my face. After all that happened, I cared just enough to not let any outsiders see how bad things had gotten. Before the 10 days were up I called my family to be removed from his apartment.

The Aftermath

I joined the Marine Corps in December of 2012. I recently got out with an honorable discharge. I will be moving to Texas next year and going to school for finance and later economics while working. I hope to become a reservist in the Air Force. I accepted Christ in February of this year and was baptized a second time in August. I have God. I have hope and a future.


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